Girlfriend_Today

*GULP*

Make it stop.

Sometimes a Girl(friend) needs to rest...

My dogs were barkin'.

That is not the cat...

Last night Pop came home from happy hour and sat on the couch.

He reached over and pet his backpack thinking it was the cat.

In his defense they are both black and about the same size.

We all shared a good laugh. At his expense. Of course. Dumb Pop.

We Passed by a Church the Other Day...

And Pop wasn't struck by lightning!

I thought surely I'd see some fireworks.

Next time.

And a Second Box Appears

Yesterday, by coincidence, a second box arrived by post.

Grandma Sandi sent Pop a care package.

Anyway, I thought I'd see what all the box fuss was about.

Hmmm, it's not my style. I ain't no Temple Grandin.

Pop: Well, that's what you get for runnin' your mouth.

***

With Very Special Guest Star: Miss Justevine

How About a Little Fireside Chat?

I told Pop that the application he uses to take out the red eye in photos -

Makes me look dopey-eyed cray cray.

But Pop doesn't listen. Ever. At all. And I have no editorial control.

I may need to contact Gloria Dogred.

Can someone get her on the horn for me?

Hey MJ, You're On Today...

Pop: How about a nice pose for your fans?

Miss Jutevine: And if you use these I may litigate.

I have Gloria Allcat's number on speed dial don't forget.

***

With Very Special Guest Star: Miss Jutevine

Rafael Nadal's Armani Billboard on the Sunset Strip

Pop went on an all-expenses paid trip to Palm Springs this weekend.

The men's & women's tennis tours are always in PS on his birthday weekend.

(Pst - his birthday is tomorrow.)

He's been going out there for the tennis since the 80's. Tennis nut he.

Gosh, you have no idea how many hours of the Tennis Channel I've logged.

It's alright I guess but I really only care for Serena Williams myself.

Pop's favorite player is Rafael Nadal - you know, the #1 player from Spain.

Well, Rafa's Armani billboard popped up near our home on the Sunset Strip.

And he drags me up to visit it everyday. Yes. Everyday.

I don't mind. I get a lot of attention on the Strip too.

But if one more tourist calls me the Beverly Hills chihuahua, I'm gonna...

***

Anyway, have fun Pop.

I'm Outside, So That Means I'm...

Had to.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke thru the peephole and you'll see.

Too Soon?

Well, friendly & gentle reminder: you only have 44 days left to buy me a gift.

Pop will get you my list (checked twice & approved) very soon.

Darned dog drives me to drinkin'...

Looks like Pop got to 'em first!

With Very Special Guest Star: Miss Jutevine

A Very Long Walk

Today Pop and I took a very long walk.

Along the way we encountered a lady carrying an old fat bull dog.

It was obvious the lady had to help the bull dog cuz it doesn't walk too well.

Pop felt for the bull dog and said sympathetically, "Oooooh, poor guy."

The lady curled her lip and snarled very unpleasantly, "It's a girl."

I was so mad I wanted to bite the back of her heel. Don't mess with my Pop.

My Battery is Dead

I could plug her into my iPhone charger. Gf told me right where to insert it.

With Very Special Guest Star: Miss Jutevine

Gf Visits a Koi Pond

Yesterday I took Gf to the Will Rogers Park in Beverly Hills.

In the center stands a lovely foundtain - I thought it'd make for a lovely pic.

As we got to the fountain Gf jumped onto the ledge just as I saw the koi.

Three or four rushed over to us thinking (of course) we had food for them.

Gf freaked thinking that we were under deadly missle fire attack.

I have never seen Gf have a bigger WTF? moment. It was hilarious.

OUTTA MY WAY GF!

Here's something that happens almost everyday between Gf & MJ.

Gf will be having an enjoyable nap in the sun by the big glass door.

MJ will decide that she wants to be there and will bully Gf away.

Then Gf will pout for a minute or two & sometimes even look to me for help.

MJ is right tho - there is nothing I can do.

Stop, You're Killin' Me!

On our walk today an elderly man stopped us to say hi to Gf.

Then he asked if he could tell Gf a joke. I nodded thinking, who does that?

He leaned down and asked her in a baby voice:

"Do you know what you'd be called if you were Jewish?"

He seemed to wait a beat for a reply and then hit his punchline:

"A Jew-huahua!"

Gf - The Instigator

Pop says, "No, she is not. You be nice."

Then Pop corrects her, "And her name is Miss Jutevine..."

Pop realizes, "I see you are picking up some of Uncle Don's bad habits."

Pop shakes his head, "Not good. Not good at all."

I Heard My Pop Say this Once...

But it sounded a little different.

 

Ah, Warmed Over Jokes

Gf is a year and a half and has made a lot of friends on her daily walks.

We have run into one particular woman on three occasions during this time.

Every time she fusses over Gf and then entertains her with the SAME joke.

"Hi Gf! Do you know what kind of dog can tell time?"

Yesterday, as with all the other days, I played along, "Oh, Gf has no idea."

"Why, a watch dog of course!"

Along Came a Spider

Four days ago I got a new neighbor living two doors down.

Spider is his name.

I know, isn't he cute? Yea, until this happens...

ALL. DAMN. DAY. LONG.

I am sooooo hoping that this will stop when he gets used to his new pad.

She Rarely Barks at All

It's really rare for Gf not to like someone. Even rarer for her to bark at them.

In fact, she rarely barks at all.

We ran into a friend today on our walk and she barked at him madly.

He joked, "I see your dog don't like black people!"

I joked back, "No, she likes everyone. She just don't like you!"

Water Break

Isn't my tongue loooong?

One time when dad was sleeping I got it all the way up his nose.

Dad woke up startled with a major case of the heebie-jeebies.

Can We Get An Interview?

I Got it!

Girlfriend and I had lunch yesterday with our gal-pal Diane.

The check came, Gf jumped on the table & scratched the bottom of the bill.

Diane laughed, "Look, Girlfriend picked up the check!"

Puppy Games

At one point yesterday both puppies coveted that little stick.

So Chester engaged Girlfriend in a game of Tug o' War - winner take all.

Girlfriend won this particular bout.

TKO.

Made to Pull Things

On our walk yesterday Girlfriend and I ran into an old bar friend of mine. One of those people that I enjoy exchanging barbs back and forth with like a competitive tennis match. Course, I usually win.

Whenever we see him he always jokingly volunteers to become Girlfriend's agent, "You know we could make a fortune off her in the movies!"

Yesterday Girlfriend wouldn't hold still and wasn't in the mood to wait for me to have any sort of lengthy conversation. My friend noticed and said, "She sure is pulling on that leash."

I barbed as usual, "Well, can you blame her? She wants to get away from you!"

He replied, "No. I think those kinds of dogs were made to pull things. Like all the bricks to build the Aztec pyramids. They were bred to pull those brinks and now they have the instinct to pull things."

Um ok.I'm pretty sure my little six pound dog was never meant to help build pyramids but I continued in his vain, "Well, good thing cuz if I don't get a job soon she's gonna be pulling all my stuff in a shopping cart all over West Hollywood."

A 'Cat Lady' - Only with Dogs

On our walk this afternoon an elderly woman walking two brown chihuahuas waved her hand and yelled from across the street, "Young man. Young man."

As she made her way across the street I thrilled to the fact that I was being called young. It's been awhile, I hoped that as she got closer she wouldn't change her mind.

Girlfriend and her puppies investigated one another while she asked me about her - I quickly ran through her history and when I finished she said, "Well, she certainly is one of the prettiest chihuahua's I have ever seen."

I thanked her, "I definitely got lucky."

It turns out she lives in the building next to mine and is a 'cat lady' - only with dogs. She said, "I am trying to place a mini pincher. Would Girlfriend like a little mate?"

I replied, "Oh, I'm sure she would. But I wouldn't."

She continued, "Well, let me give you my card. I provide a dog walking service and dog sitting service. So if you ever go out of town you can just leave her with me."

I thanked her, "Oh that's good to know. I actually could have used you a couple of weekends ago."

She reached down to love on Girlfriend and just before we parted she said, "Listen, if you ever need to get rid of that little precious baby," her voice lowered to a plea, "please, just give her to me."

I smiled and joked, "You'd have to pry her from my cold dead hands. And fight off half of my friends."

On Our Walk This Morning...

On our walk this morning Girlfriend and I ran into one of the friends she made about six months ago who stopped us for a little chat.

He smiled broadly, "Gosh I haven't seen this pretty little girl in a few months. I can't believe how much she has grown."

I replied, "Yea she has but I think this is a big as she'll get."

He reached down to pet her and said, "Well, she might get a little chubbier."

I countered, "I hope not. I don't like chubby chihuahuas."

He said, "Well you know what they say... pets usually end up looking like their owners."

I laughed, "Really? Out loud?"

Get Me Outta Here!

I had to take Girlfriend to see her vet yesterday.

Before we could see her we were visited by the assistant who took all of her vitals and as he was prepping a thermometer he said, "I'm gonna need you to hold her with her rear facing me."

I complied and as he lifted her tail he asked, "Hey Girlfriend, what kind of dog can tell time?"

She didn't answer.

Just as he rammed the thermometer up her pooper he followed with his punchline, "A watch dog!"

I smirked thinking he was weird as Girlfriend whimpered.

***

As we were at the reception desk preparing to leave the gal working there gave me instructions on how to administer her medications, "Give both of these to her twice a day and it'll be helpful if she eats just before takings her meds. It's 2:48."

I looked at the clock just beyond her head and noticed that she was about ten minutes off and as I reached for my wallet I asked, "So, how much do we owe you?"

She repeated, "It's $248."

I grimaced and choked, "Oh, I thought you had given me the time."