We have a temp at work. She has been here a few weeks and I have grown fond of her. Sadly, her last day is tomorrow. She walked by my desk, frowned & asked "SO, U GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR ME?" I replied, "NAH, WE STILL KICKIN' YOUR SHIT TO THE CURB TOMORROW!" <sad face> I''ll miss her. :-(
Employee at grocery store knows my friend Gymmy in Germany. He is a tad mentally challenged. He's hounded me for months for Gymmy's email address. I finally got permission to give it to him and he says, "WELL, ALL'S I NEED NOW IS A COMPUTER AND MY VERY OWN EMAIL ACCOUNT."
Is it wrong that I asked the Cable customer service guy I was talking to on the phone to transfer me to someone I could comprehend cuz his accent was SO thick? I understood about every 3rd word and after my 10th "WHAT?" - I gave up. I mean, I did press 1 for English!
I was introduced to the new temp at work this afternoon, I said to her "OH YOUR NAME IS SHONTAY, LIKE IN THE RUPAUL SONG." I sang the part with her name, "SAS-SHAY SHONTAY! SHONTAY SHONTAY SHONTAY!" She looked at me funny and then sang back another of the lyrics, "SUPERMODEL, YOU BETTA WORK!"
Got on the elevator at work with two black women from another company. One of them is doing all the talking about her Thanksgiving dinner plans. She mentions three dinner guests by name - Trammell, Shalinda and Dookie. I so wanna go! Dookie sounds like my kind of FUN!
I was at a bar last night in the Hillcrest area of San Diego. I overheard an older guy next to me say to two much young guys, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I NEVER LOOKED AT PORN ON THE INTERNET." I thought it was an odd comment and interrupted, "THATS BECAUSE THE INTERNET HAD NOT BEEN INVENTED YET!"
I got a little hungry at work and needed a snack. So i went to our Executive Kitchen and asked the butler, "HEY, CAN I HAVE A HANDFUL OF PEANUTS?" He replied, "DUDE, MY PENIS IS WAY MORE THAN A HANDFUL!"