We had a fire drill at work. Give you one guess who the floor warden is! I put on my orange leader vest & safety mask & grabbed my ginormous radio flashlight. I quickly led my people to the staging area where the fire guy in charge had the nerve to ask, "AND DO WE HAVE A FLOOR WARDEN?" Really?
I overheard a phone conversation in an office two doors down from mine. My co-worker was clearly exasperated and asked, "UM, CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?" There was a silence for the reply from the other end - then she said, "WELL, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD SPEAK A LITTLE BETTER ENGLISH RIGHT NOW?!"
Went to Target for some essentials. I forgot about the crush of Christmas shoppers & their annoying KIDS. I heard this exchange: Boy says to his dad, "COME ON DAD, BUY IT FOR ME." Dad says, "NO. EVERYONE KNOWS SPIDERMAN IS FvCKIN F@GGY." Mom hits dad & says, "LANGUAGE SH!THEAD."
I went to the little cafe in the basement of my building for lunch. Owner is friendly with everyone and asked the whereabouts of a coworker. I said "OH, GREG HAD A HEART ATTACK LAST WEEK." He looked shocked and then proclaimed, "WELL, I CANT LET HIM EAT HERE ANYMORE!"
I made a donation box for a Christmas charity that my boss was hosting. Around the slit i cut for the money i put some bows. I thought it looked like a colorful vagina. My boss said, "OH, I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE HOLE." I said "REALLY, YOU CANT SAY THAT TO A GAY MAN AND NOT EXPECT A SICK JOKE IN RETURN!