This morning I took my dog for a walk on Hollywood Blvd - I wanted to see them setting up for the Oscars on Sunday. I took a lot of cool photos which I'll share with you Saturday.
As we passed the Chinese Theater I noticed that the woman who has spent years dressed as Marilyn Monroe was the White Swan today. I was impressed that she switched things up to work The Black Swan angle. Tho her costume was a bit tattered as the zipper was broken in the back and held together precariously by three safety-pins. A wardrobe malfunction was surely in the offing.
When I see her (usually as Marilyn) I always give her a dollar because she really pulls at my heartstrings. I hear she is homeless and bless her for trying to make a few bucks. And I was genuinely impressed that she was going to spend the afternoon on-point. I mean, one really must appreciate that she came out today to weeeerk.
I stopped to watch her twirl and when she saw my dog in my arms she halted her performance to come over and give her a big kiss. My dog seemed to really like the taste of her lipstick as a gross mini make-out session ensued. I wasn't happy that all this kissing was happening and after a few seconds I pulled her away. I really don't want my dog licking the homeless theatre people.
We chatted for a minute (she's always really sweet) and then I handed her a dollar and said, punctuating the rhyme, "You go twirl, girl."
A woman standing near us who had watched our encounter turned to me and said, "Don't be surprised if you end up at the vet this afternoon."
Confused I asked, "What? Why?"
She replied, "No telling what deceases your dog lapped up off her lips."
Zorro (I think) overheard this, pulled his sword out and waved it at the woman defending the White Swan's honor, "Madam, I shall cut your vemonus tongue from your vile mouth."