Earlier this morning I went to the 99 Cents Store. You know how much I love the cast of characters down there and today did not disappoint.
While waiting on line for the cashier I found myself behind the cutest old lady. She was so frail and slow but she was rockin' a bangin' wig - a bob-type number with smart bangs!
She seemed to be having a tough time standing on one leg for too long and kept switching her weight from one to the other. It caused me to ponder, sadly, life as an old person. Just as I was losing myself in the idea she looked at me and asked in a tiny voice, "Do you mind if I leave my place in line to go get a battery?"
I smiled warmly and answered, "Not at all."
She explained, "I wouldn't bother holding you up but there is a very important appliance at home that needs new batteries. Yes. It just can't go without batteries - not another day longer."
As she finished that sentence she did that weight-shifting move which made it appear as though she added a little bit of a pelvis thrust for emphasis. Which made the queen behind me giggle under his breath.
When she was out of earshot the queen squeeled, "Eeeewweee, don't chu just know it's for her vibrator."
I feigned shock and said, "Now that's not nice." Then I adopted a stupid look on my face and confessed, "But you know that's what I was thinkin' too."

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