The other day at happy hour we talked about being gay teens & sex.
Our bartender stated with a fair amount of earned bravado,
"I'm a gold card gay - I've never ever been with a woman."
I waited a beat before I played my royal flush,
"I guess that make my status a platinum card gay.
Not only have I not been with a woman I was a Cesarean baby.
I didn't even see my mama's yum-yum."
Platinum y'all. Plat-i-num.