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Excuse Me, Miss...

The main theater at Grauman's Chinese Theater is my all-time favorite movie house. I hadn't been in years and I noticed that a film I was interested in seeing was playing there so today I headed to Hollywood to see Role Models. It was actually a pretty good movie and although a bit low-brow it was still funny and semi-sweet. To save a few dollars I parked in a residential neighborhood about eight blocks away. While I was at the crosswalk waiting to get back to my car after the movie I was standing with two cute girls; a couple of guys approached and one said to one of the girls, "Excuse me, miss..." She ignored him and mumbled to her friend, "Why won't he leave us alone?" The guy spoke at her again, "Excuse me, miss..." Exasperated she barked, "What?" He pointed to the corner she had just come from said, "I think you dropped your smile over there." She pointed her toe, tapped it on the ground in front of her and referring to her tapping toe she said, "And this is where you dropped your dignity and I walked all over it." The light turned green and as we began to cross the street the other guy didn't bother to console his dissed friend, "Ouch, total strike-out dude."

No iPod? No Way!

I went to Sacramento last weekend for political reasons and when I landed I went to the Super Shuttle counter to schedule a ride to my hotel. Turns out I had to share my ride with another passenger - a woman in her early 50's and about as hippied-out as I had seen in a long while. I'm talking a real mama earth - all natural clothing, armpit growth, granola breath - the works. At one point early into our ride she opened her bag to pull out a Walkman and a cassette to play in it! I can't remember the last time I saw a Walkman and I couldn't resist saying something to her, "Wow, I haven't seen one of those in about 10 years." She seemed glad that someone talked to her and she replied in an odd man-ish tone, "I've had it forever." I waved my big-city iPod in the air and joked, "Well, it might be high time to upgrade to an iPod!" She scrunched her face and said, "Never man," then she raised her hands and continued, "These hands have never touched a computer or a cell phone." I asked, "Why not?" She replied, "Because the government can monitor your every move through those devices." I should have known. She went on to explain (without my asking i might add) that after she dropped out of high school she also dropped out of society. She lives under an assumed name on a commune just north of Sacramento and that her leader had sent her to Long Beach to 'make some money'. I didn't ask how. Just as I was wondering how many people she has killed she hit me with the recruiting angle, "You know if you are ever looking to drop out you should look for us. We are love. And we could use a sturdy man like you." Stunned I simply said, "Um... No iPod? No way." That was intended to end our conversation and it worked - until we passed a freeway off-ramp that a semi-truck took too quickly causing it to flip over. She turned to me and said, "See... they got him." I asked, "Who." She moaned as if she were watching a man die slowly, "The government. They got him." I rolled my eyes and asked bluntly, "Why? Why would they get him." She said in all seriousness, "Because he must be transportin' the truth."

The Big Scary Staircase

I have been trying to get Girlfriend to climb the big scary staircase to our apartment for a long time now. She would just stand at the bottom and look up at me like I was out of my mind and then I would go down and carry her up. Well yesterday, armed with a little patience and some tasty treats I finally got her to conquer her fear. My little girl is getting all grow'd up. Soon she will be needing 'little lady' feminine things... oh wait, I'm gonna nip that problem in the bud.

Conversation with a Neighbor

The other night I had a conversation with a neighbor who has lived in my complex for awhile but I had never had a chat with him of any length. We touched on a few subjects - the recent election, Girlfriend, Prop 8 protests and fellow neighbors. At one point I asked him what he did for a living and he repied, "I'm a server." For some reason that puzzled me and I asked, "As in subpoena?" He laughed, "No, as in tables."

Prop. 8

Saturday, November 15th there were rallies held at City Hall's nationwide to protest the passage of CA's Prop 8 which now places a ban on same-sex marriage on the state constitution. I attended the rally in downtown Los Angeles and while I was waiting for the event to begin I struck up a nice conversation with a lesbian couple. After awhile one of them said to the other, "Oh, I forgot to tell you that I I spoke to my mother yesterday." Then she realized that I needed a little more information, "Sorry, my mother lives in Chicago and is a little bit of an oddball." She smiled and continued, "So let me tell you guys this funny conversation we had." She took a breath, "So I told her that I was gonna be out here at the protest rally for the the passing of Prop 8 and she said, Oh honey, you know I voted no on that Prop 8. I laughed and told her, Well mom, I think that Prop 8 in Illinois is a little different than Prop 8 in California."

You Can't Come Near Us

I was walking Girlfriend the other night and coming our direction was an old bar friend I hadn't seen in years walking his own mean-lookin' pooch. I was excited to see Gary and Girlfriend is always happy to see anyone! In fact, she just loves to play with the other dogs on her walks though lately she has discovered the 'no-no' end of them - basis canine instincts are pretty gross. Anyway, I yelled with sincere enthusiasm, "Ga-ry!" Gary is another of those bar friends that enjoys some fun back and forth jabs and I was excited to find out what he has been up to the last couple of years. But he and his dog became frazzled and Gary began yanking on his chain and said, "Hi, hi Chuck, so nice to see you. But listen, I can't talk because you can't come near us," he referred to his dog, "This dumb bitch, she doesn't like dogs." I laughed and then barbed him like back in the good old days, "Then what is she doing with you?!"

Free To Marry

On November 4th the California electorate voted 'Yes on Prop 8' which bans same-sex marriage constitutionally. Since then there have been dozens of rallies and protests all across this great state. Tonight I attended my third rally - this time at the Santa Monica Pier. Before I got there I ducked into a deli for a sandwich and came upon three 20-somethings arguing about Prop. 8's passage. A straight guy was holding a girls hand while he told the gay guy, "Well, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman." The gay guy responded, "Hey, we just want the same rights that you enjoy." Then he pointed to the girl and continued, "You get to freely marry her. Don't you think I should be free to marry the person I love?" The guy was about to say something when the girl interrupted, "Ain't no way I'm marryin' this fool."

Can I Have Girlfriend?

I take Girlfriend on one or two long walks every day. Actually, I no longer refer to them as walks because really they just turn into publicity tours. She can't go a single block without someone stopping us to coo over her cuteness. I, err, she really likes the attention. The best of these exchanges always happens when we get to the West Hollywood Park where mothers take their little kids to play in the afternoons. The other day a tot (maybe 4 years old) ran over to say hi and after a few minutes she asked with a gigantic smile, "What is your puppy's name?" I replied in that 'talk to babies' voice (yes, you read that right), "Oh, that's Girlfriend. She likes you!" She played with Girlfriend for a few minutes as I chatted with her mother. Finally the little girl stood erect and asked us in all seriousness, "Can I have Girlfriend?" I laughed as the mother reminded her, "Honey, we already have a dog at home. What would little Ollie think of that?" The little girl corrected her mother, "No mom, Ollie is a dog. I want a puppy."

Today, I Cried.

 

Tonight, I Cried.