
While I was fiddling with bananas a woman reached in and ate a date.
The woman put the pit in her purse, then grabbed another and took a bite...
This outraged the guy next to me who was also in the mood for bananas.
Fellow Banana Shopper: Hey, that is not a sampler plate.
Woman: Oh, I was just testing to see how fresh they are.
Fellow Banana Shopper: How many do you steal before you decide on that?
Woman (hand to heart): Steal?
Fellow Banana Shopper: Yes, steal. You've consumed $2 worth already.
Woman: How is what I do any of your business.
Fellow Banana Shopper: Your petty thievery increases prices, that's how.
He Vanna White'd the bins of candy behind him & said before swishing away.
Fellow Banana Shopper: You gonna steal a handful of Jelly Bellies next?

Not long after I found myself in the milk/bakery area.
A guy cleaning up spilled milk called over to a guy working in the bakery...
Cleaning Guy: Hey, do you have another roll of paper towels over there?
Bakery Dude: Nope.
The guy just stood there staring at the mess. Completely mystified.
Bakery Dude: What's wrong?
Cleaning Guy: Well, how am I supposed to clean this up?
It just so happens that Fellow Banana Shopper was walking by...
Fellow Banana Shopper (as a flip aside): You ever hear of a mop?
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