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Last week a guy moved in across the street with this license plate.
Well, Dec. 6th is a fairly significant date to me and my family.
It's the birth date of my little sister who is now dearly departed.
I dunno... It's just kinda weird. Don't you agree?
On Saturday I went to a lovely festival downtown called The Blessing of the Animals. A traditional Latin American ceremony held annually on the day before Easter.
At the end of the day there was a parade of the animals that all passed by a priest for a splash of holy water. I was told that the parade is always fronted by a bull.
The parade began and as the bull came toward where I was standing it began to wobble on its frail-looking legs... Then, just as the bull was right in front of me it dropped to the ground and eventually (from what I witnessed) died.
It was the damnedest thing I've ever seen.
The felled bull excited some in the crowd into audible concern while it spurred others to make jokes. A guy behind me yelled something in Spanish - of which I understood only one word: "(something something something something)... Hamburguesa!!!"
Within minutes a truck was summoned to carry the poor bull away.
I looked at the woman standing next to me and she asked in disbelief, "What the hell just happened?"
I shrugged, "Gosh, I dunno." Then I made an oddly enthusiastic 80's New Wave video gesture showcasing my peepers and proclaimed, "It must have been my killer blue eyes."
***
Warning: There's a photo of the fallen bull if you click on "continue reading." I took it only because if I didn't nobody will believe me.
Yesterday I went to the Blessing of the Animals on Olvera Street.
It's an annual Latin American Easter festival.
It was a day filled with animals of all sorts & heart-melty kids performances.
Please click HERE to view my photo spread.
Yesterday I stumbled upon a Passion of Christ reenactment.
And boy did I get my camera up in it!
You can check out my photo of the event HERE.
I had this brief conversation with a friend at happy hour on Sunday...
Him: Did you ever know that guy with one leg that use to come here?
Me: No.
Him: Oh yeah, we all use to call him Peggy.
Me: Wow. Sorry I missed that!
Him: He use to tell us about a lot of really sick amputee fetish shit too.
Me: Oh I bet. There are a lot of freaky people out there.
Him: He got more action than anyone I knew. He was quite the stumper.
We enjoyed a strange laugh together. Then I asked...
Me: I wonder if he ever went to that amputee bar in Hollywood?
Him: There was an amputee bar in Hollywood?
Me: Oh yes! Legend has it that it was quite hopping in the 80's.
Him: And no doubt had a cover charge that cost an arm and a leg.
Bah dum, bum.
***
I took that photo of the homeless shoe last week.
I had no idea what I would ever use it for - til I heard tale of Peggy.
Makes sense now, Peggy and the like would only have need for one.
Chuck the other.
While I was fiddling with bananas a woman reached in and ate a date.
The woman put the pit in her purse, then grabbed another and took a bite...
This outraged the guy next to me who was also in the mood for bananas.
Fellow Banana Shopper: Hey, that is not a sampler plate.
Woman: Oh, I was just testing to see how fresh they are.
Fellow Banana Shopper: How many do you steal before you decide on that?
Woman (hand to heart): Steal?
Fellow Banana Shopper: Yes, steal. You've consumed $2 worth already.
Woman: How is what I do any of your business.
Fellow Banana Shopper: Your petty thievery increases prices, that's how.
He Vanna White'd the bins of candy behind him & said before swishing away.
Fellow Banana Shopper: You gonna steal a handful of Jelly Bellies next?
Not long after I found myself in the milk/bakery area.
A guy cleaning up spilled milk called over to a guy working in the bakery...
Cleaning Guy: Hey, do you have another roll of paper towels over there?
Bakery Dude: Nope.
The guy just stood there staring at the mess. Completely mystified.
Bakery Dude: What's wrong?
Cleaning Guy: Well, how am I supposed to clean this up?
It just so happens that Fellow Banana Shopper was walking by...
Fellow Banana Shopper (as a flip aside): You ever hear of a mop?
Not to mention a few months late.
And used too. Santa sucks.
A few weeks ago I drove out to Palm Springs with a dear friend.
On the return trip I dropped my phone under the passenger seat.
There was just no way I could sit there for 2 hours without my phone.
So my friend pulled over on a desolate off-ramp just outside Palm Springs.
While I was fishing around for my phone I felt a bottle of wine.
I asked, "Did you know you have a bottle of under under here?"
He was surprised, "I do? Wow. I have no idea how long that's been there."
I laughed, "Well, I bet it's aged to perfection now."
He grabbed it and set it on the side of the road. With his Skittles wrapper.
I snapped a quick pic before we headed off...
I texted it to a few of my wine loving friends - just to horrify them.
And it worked well.
Their responses were all in tones of varying degrees of shock & disbelief.
Edwin even took it to a place just short of anger.
Like he'd tossed a sack of puppies on the side of the road or something.
Joe Jerry referenced the Greek God of WIne in the best of the replies:
"Woe betides on all they who dare cross the might of Dionysus."
A neighbor woke up to this niceness last week.
I know a few people who would kill the person that perpetrated this offense.
Quite deservedly so.
Yea, I have featured this guy on this blog before - always from a distance.
Well, he's been coming into my watering hole a bit more frequently.
And each time I seem to get closer and closer. This time maybe too close?
***
My friend Don moved to Florida a few weeks ago - a move still unforgiven.
Well, Ricky use to freak Don out every time we'd see him.
My goal here was to text Don this pic so he'd clutch his heart in shock.
It sooooooo worked. On him. And on you.
***
By the way, I'm pretty sure I freaked Ricky out too.
After the photo was taken he said, "Wow, that'll cost you a Rum & Diet."
I happily obliged.
***
False advertising: He wears a milking bra but nothing lactated.
False advertising, part 2: My shirt says, I *heart* Hot Moms.
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